Spanking the Monkee; The Zen Art of Masturbation Meditation

It has been said that 98% of people masturbate and the other 2% are liars. This is something I have been thinking about for a long time, and not just because I am experiencing one of the longest dry spells I have had since I was fifteen. The word masturbation is derived from the Latin words manus ("hand") and turbare ("to disturb"). I have given serious thought to the healthy aspects of masturbation both mentally and physically.  We are all familiar with the old wives tales that mothers use to scare children, about how masturbation will cause you to go blind, or grow hair on your palms, or turn you into some sort of filthy degenerate who writes blogs about porn. Wait maybe the last one is true, but we all know the first two are simply myths. There has never been a study legitimate scientific find that has proved that jerking-off is in any way harmful. In fact it has been quite the opposite. Masturbation derives its taboo nature from society and the silly religious fanatics who have ran every society since man first learned to congregate and start a fire.  We’ve been told that masturbation can cause all kinds of physical and mental problems like prostate problems and testicular problems. That too much masturbation can cause depression, fatigue, male hair loss, memory problems, a lack of concentration, and of course fuzzy vision. None of this is true of course. According to some research the longer sperm hang around in the testes the more likely they are to accumulate DNA damage and the warm environment could also make them more sluggish after a while. So you have to let it out in order for your kids to come out right. Not only that it is a release of pressure and relieves stress. Several studies have documented the relaxation effects of masturbation induced orgasm.

The modern war on masturbation began in somewhere around 1712 when an anonymous doctor published a text entitled: “Onania; the Heinous Sin of Self Pollution, and all its Frightful Consequences…” It warned against the dangers of defiling one’s own body, and offered a series of cures that could be purchased. Much of misinformation and hysteria surrounding masturbation can be traced to this first work of fiction masquerading as medicine. In the late 1800s to the early 1900s both Graham Crackers and Corn Flakes were developed in a public effort to curb masturbatory impulses in young boys which were believed to lead to poor health, and mental illness. Between 1856 and 1932 the U.S. Patent Office approved 33 patents for “anti-masturbation” devices. These devices were developed by physicians and so-called “moralistic” inventors, and ranged from spiked rings, to male chastity belts, to electrifying devices that would be sufficient for “burning the flesh” causing “great physical pain, and possible mutilation”. Aleister Crowley was one of the first people in modern times to publicly advocate the practice of sexual magic. He rejected the prudish attitude of the Victorian era towards sex and took delight in shocking British society by explicitly including masturbation and homosexuality among his magical techniques. Crowley wrote that; “Each individual has an absolute right to satisfy his sexual instinct as is physiologically proper for him.” Despite the fact that vibrators were made and sold, they were marketed simple as marital aides and massagers. It wasn’t until the release of Alfred Kinsey’s two groundbreaking surveys; Sexual Behavior in the Human Male in 1948, and Sexual Behavior in the Human Female in 1953, that the way sexuality and masturbation were talked about in popular culture would change forever. They presented to the general public data that showed masturbation to be a widespread, and common sexual behavior. In 1974 Betty Dodson, published Liberating Masturbation: a Meditation on Self Love. This book, which was later expanded and released as Sex for One was possibly the first open call for women to masturbate. Dodson considered masturbation, giving yourself pleasure entirely on your own terms, a radical act for women at the time, but also an act of deep love, which could transform women’s lives. In December 1994, the (then) Surgeon General Jocelyn Elder answered a question about the possibility of masturbation being included in comprehensive sex education in schools at a World AIDS Day event in New York City. Dr. Elder replied, “I think that is something that is a part of human sexuality and it's a part of something that perhaps should be taught.” While in no way suggesting the explicit teaching of masturbation techniques, she was acknowledging, that masturbation is part of sexuality, and therefore should be a part of a comprehensive sexual health curriculum, she was promptly fired by President Clinton. This illustrates the almost subversive nature beating off has taken.

Aside from the physical benefits of choking the chicken, there are the mental benefits as well. Masturbation is all about you, and doctors agree that taking time to focus on yourself is a great way to relieve the stress of this hectic modern life. In a study done 2000 32% of U.S. women, said that in the previous three months they used masturbation as a way to fall asleep. It is partially due the hormones and endorphins released following an orgasm, and the benefits of clearing your head, that masturbation is a grand way to reach sleep without the of use television, pills, or even counting sheep. This is where the Zen art of Masturbation Meditation comes in. Masturbation Meditation can be a wonderful way to escape, and a way to let off some steam, it’s a healthy tool right at your fingertips. One can drift away in fantasy and lose one self to ones inner desires while rubbing one out. You are allowed to lose yourself in a reality that is purely of your own design. There are those who argue that masturbation is more a part of youth and an immature act preformed by children and teenagers yet studies show that masturbation is a lifelong sexual activity. Surveys regularly show that anywhere from 70 to 95% of adult men and women masturbate. And while this may slow down as we age, many continue masturbating into their golden years. One survey of 800 adults over 60 found that that 46% of them masturbated, another found that 20% of seniors masturbated once a week or more. Masturbation isn’t just an “immature” form of sexual behavior. It is in fact the experience of learning ones on body and what turns you on. It is the acknowledgement of self gratification at the highest most intimate form.

Masturbation can also offer cancer prevention according to two recent studies, a link between the number of times a man ejaculates and the likelihood of said man getting prostate cancer has been found. Due in part to the fact that the prostate gland produces and stores seminal fluid and the fluid can build up in the prostate if a man goes a long time without ejaculating. This build up is not always a problem, but in the studies men who ejaculate more were less likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer. Not to say that pulling the pud is a miracle cure all, but being happy and being healthy often go hand in hand.  Another researcher has proposed a theory that orgasm may offer some protective effect against breast cancer via Oxytocin released at orgasm. Spanking the Monkee is an integral part of sex magick, from the Lesser Work of Sol, to Zod-Ka Speaks of Ikkah in where AOS writes; Renouncing everything else take shelter in that Self-love, which incites the functions in to the bold, 'freedom from necessity am I': virtue and vice shall cease. Self-illumination am I; the procreatrix of this universe. Indomitable in body: born o f the bastard truth I made. When the eyes are shut the world certainly does not exist. O chaos! Is there no greater joy than flagellation; the ecstatic parlay sis that makes holocausts of withered souls; the hideously pitiable cripples-"I fear . . . "? I assert this Self-love to be a most secret ritual hidden by blasphemous Ideographs: and he who calls, pronouncing the word fearlessly, the entire creation of women shall rush into him. He goes on to say in a longer poem;

O sin, where is thy violence?
O love, where is thine incest?
O thought, where is thy courage?
O hope, where is thy faith?
O Self where is thy humility?
O truth, where is thy mispronunciation?
Verily, Self-love alone is complete!

In Ancient Egypt the god Atum was believed to have created the universe by masturbating. When we as a modern society begin to awaken the spiritual animal within welcome to a realization that self-love can be the greatest love of all. Many New-Age (hokum) religions have exposed the need for one to love one’s self in these new times. While much of that is illusionary clap-trap meant to refocus energy on the Me of materialism, some of it is true. There are movements to make the general public aware of the benefits of Spanking the Monkee. In 1995, in response to the firing of Surgeon General Jocelyn Elder for her comments on masturbation, several like minded sex-positive sex stores got together, and created Masturbation Month, a month dedicated to honoring the most common and still frequently derided sexual practice on the planet. The month culminates in the Masturbate-a-Thon, a fundraising event where people ask for pledges and on a specific day try to masturbate as long as the possibly can. Tens of thousands of dollars have been raised by participating stores for sexual health organizations across North America. Masturbation is becoming accepted as a healthy practice and safe method for sharing pleasure without some of the dangers that can accompany intercourse. It is socially accepted and even celebrated in certain circles. Group masturbation events can be easily found online. An annual online Masturbate-A-Thon has been organized by the Center for Sex and Culture (in San Francisco) for several years now. Masturbation plays an important role in sexual development and growth and cannot be overlooked, it’s part of the very reason I use this very blog to discuss sex. Well that and I’m really just a dirty Monkee.