Mood:  d'oh

So we're going to kick off things with a new segment; Freaks of Nature! This is where we will showcase the bizarre babes and sexual oddities we come across. They may be self made freaks in some cases but we'll try to stick with characters that are genuinely freaky not some dude with a big plastic shlong, but maybe a chick with insanely huge fake boobs.

Case in point our first inductee into the Freaks of Nature category; Miss Penelope Black Diamond!

Now if you've ever read this blog before you know that big breasted, dark-haired women with tats are our bread and butter! Daphne Rosen, Gianna Micheals, Lisa Ann, the list goes on. It's kinda our thing around here. And at first glance there seems to be little special about this European beauty than the fact that she has ginormous fake knockers! But if that were it she wouldn't really be a freak of Nature just a bizarre rich Europeans guys wet dream Bride of Frankenstein creation.  She's got a bush which lets you know she's a.) European, and b.) down for the cause! Yet it's when checking out her furry muff that we notice a little something different about this broad! She also sporting about ten pounds of metal from her labia!

Now that's a freak! She (to us anyways) is quite pretty and would have been a hot model even without all the outrageous plastic surgery! But then you get down a little further and see that not only is she hanging weights off her beef curtains, but she's walking around on these things that she calls feet but look more like they belong on a rooster than on a woman! And not only that but she's selling these as one of her best features. Now we're all for making lemonade out of lemons, but damn girl those things look like they could qualify you as inter-species!

Foot fetish has always been something that has totally escaped me personally. I can't speak for other Monkees in the Armada, but never understood the love of big stinky feet. I mean it's good to have them, but do I need to put them in my mouth!?! needless to say this broad is doing alright for herself carving out a nitch for crow-footed, super-tits, with door knockers hanging from her crotch fetishist over in Europe and has some what of  following here in the States, but she is certainly a freak of Nature and just the first we are going to be bring to the Monkee Pages so enjoy these clips and stay in the trees!