Mood:  chillin'

A Cuckold relationship takes three primary members to exist. The Cuck and the Bull are two, but equally important is the Hot Wife or Cuckdress. So what is it that makes a Hot Wife? The term Hot Wife is used to describe a married woman who enjoys relations with other men, with her husband's full support, and where he agrees to be monogamous. The husband is publicly aware of his wife's activities and encourages them whenever possible. In some cases the husband enjoys the humiliation he feels in having his wife have sex with other men. It's understandable that this arrangement can appeal to women with a dominant and/or "poly-amorus" nature. Cuckold relationships are most often suggested first by the husband, who has fantasized about the situation for most of their lives. According to most Hot Wife websites and forums that I have checked out, the Hot Wife's sexual activities shouldn't be confused with her romantic feelings. For most it is curious as to how a woman can be intimate with multiple partners while remaining in love with her husband. Most sites agree that to minimize the risk that the Hot Wife develops any romantic interest in one of her lovers, the couple typically agrees to certain rules often times a Cuckold Contract is drawn up; for example that she can only see the same lover a few times, or that there is a significant age difference between her and the Bull, often times it is required that her Bulls are never part of the couple's regular social, professional or family circles. There are accounts on these forums from wives (that upon becoming Hot Wives), not only do they experience better sex with their Bulls, but that their husbands become more loving and romantic, and attentive. Yet we're still left wondering what type of woman is okay with this lifestyle according to a survey from a Yahoo Cuckold Group the average age of a Cuckdress is between 36 and 45 (35% of those polled) 17% are stay at home moms, while  32% have Bachelor Degrees. This leads to the theory that idle hands are indeed the devils workshop; educated women, with an abundance of free time and the economic affordability to entertain their fantasies.  

Not all Hot Wives can be lumped into the same boat. Like with all relationships each is unique and every couple handles their particular situation differently. There are however, apparently various degrees of behavior that come with the Hot Wife lifestyle. There are dominate Hot Wives who prefer to engage in sexual acts with the husband's superior (either his boss, military superior, or sometimes even parent) so the feeling of overall helplessness heightens the husband's humiliation and pleasure. These can include elements of BSDM but in some cases the humiliated husband simply watches while his Hot Wife puts on a show just for him by flirting, kissing, or heavy petting, and other men. In other couples the husband is allowed to join in on group sex activities. Most of these activities involve multiple men pleasing the Hot Wife, but occasionally other Hot Wives are involved, gang-bangs and cum-baths are popular with this type of relationship. Many Cucks find it exciting to give their wives oral sex after one or more (or many!) men have left (their) cum inside them. Often in this type of lifestyle the husband becomes excited when his wife's "Hot Wife" status becomes public knowledge. In some cases the Bull enjoys exclusive rights to sexual acts with the wife, or the wife will withhold certain sexual acts from the husband. Occasionally a hot wife will come home from an encounter with her underwear or vagina full of semen, providing the husband with the proof (so-to-speak).

Some Cuckold couples claim to have established a deep level of communication and an excitement for each other that are rare after many years of marriage. Others claim to have married young, and the wife's curiosity over what she might have missed out on lead to their entering the Cuckold lifestyle. Most however agree that their Hot Wives sleep with other men, because that is exactly what she wants to do. There seems to be a general consensus that their wives would be participating in the activity with or without their knowledge and that their compliance is merely a way of maintaining some sort of relationship with the woman they are in love with. Perhaps it is because men typically have more of a voyeuristic nature than most women, so that's possibly why the Cuckold type of lifestyle has caught on. Or it could be that we are simply sexual creatures by nature. A form of Cuckolding has been documented in other primates such as chimps and other apes. Even dolphins and birds have arrangements were the woman is the sexually promiscuous partner while the male is permitted to mate but once. It is society that has dictated that the woman is to be the chaste "good wife", and the man to be the "dog". These stereotypes have been ingrained in us for some time and perhaps it is now that we are evolved enough to break free from their constraints.

Mood:  quizzical

I will start by saying that I have been interested in the Cuckold fetish for some time. The Millers Tale from Chaucer's Canterbury Tales is a humorous look at a Cuckhold's life, but cuckolding as a fetish has been around for some time, at least since the time of the writer for whom the term masochism was coined-Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. Sacher-Masoch's wife, Aurora Rümelin, recounted in her memoirs multiple instances of Sacher-Masoch asking her, begging her and even threatening her to make her Cuckold him just so he could experience the pain and humiliation of the act. While she indulged her husband in many of his masochistic requests, she refused to Cuckold him. Her refusal was one of the causes of their separation, and her subsequent descent into poverty. By definition, a Cuckold is; a married man whose wife cheats on him behind his back. Someone who is a Cuckold fetishist (we'll just say Cuck from here on), not only knows about his wife's infidelity, but sometimes enjoys the humiliation of watching. The female is the dominant in this subculture, and she takes on additional partners, and the male takes on a submissive role where he is monogamous to her, or only becoming involved sexually when she allows, occasionally remaining celibate altogether. A wife who enjoys Cuckoldry can be referred to as a hot wife or Cucktress. The desire for the male to enjoy being Cucked is often more about his non-sexual gratification, and more about one's personal ideals. Sometimes this is part of a sexual fantasy, or because the Cuck gains arousal through being humiliated. At times a Cuck finds pleasure vicariously through his partner. The contrast between a cuckold and the additional male participant is sometimes used to summarize an individual's personality or behavior and the variability commonly seen in male libidos: the Cuckold or beta-male suggesting a lack of masculinity or alpha-male representing his missing masculinity. This can be represented in the size of the participant's penis, or the color of his skin, or both. The hot wife and extramarital participant (known as The Bull) may both enjoy actively including him in the act of Cuckolding through watching as closely as possible, filming, or even servicing her. Some common themes include praising her appearance, attempting to stimulate her sexually at the same time as The Bull, and of course cleaning her genitalia after the act, which can include eating The Bulls semen from inside the Cucktress. Generally a Cuck is simply expected to be engrossed in her enjoyment. It is common for the male to be more absorbed with the female's pleasure than his own.

For some the desire to have an unfaithful wife is unthinkable, it's what makes Cucking different from other fetishes that are often connected to an object, as this is entirely psychological. It's the psychology that makes a Cuck and not the act itself. Wanting to see your wife having sex with another man just because you like to watch makes you a voyeur, not a Cuck. It is different from being a swinger where both partners experience physical pleasure. No, a true Cuck finds pleasure in the humiliation of the act; they want a real alpha-male to uses their wife, giving it to better than they ever could. They enjoy being chided and degraded throughout the process, whether it is because of their inadequacies, or for the sheer thrill of being emasculated. I found posted on a forum an interesting list describing what makes a Cuck a Cuck. Now this is nothing solid just the opinion or observation of one individual.

Of the infinite variety of persons involved in the cuckold lifestyle, I think perhaps there is a subset of males who share certain characteristics that may render them more inclined than average to become a cuckold. These include, in no particular order and of varied intensity the following:

1) He has an innate respect for women, and believes in her rights, with a strong and perhaps even exaggerated sense of romantic chivalry.
2) He is naturally drawn to women with a stronger, more assertive sex drive than his own.
3) He has a real desire to please his woman, and is concerned with her feelings and needs, and is emotionally strong enough to accept her preference in sexual partners.
4) He has a high degree of performance anxiety in direct proportion to his level of attraction to the woman; the stronger his attraction, the more submissive he becomes.
5) He has likely eroticized humiliation through prior bouts of impotence, easily induced by the assertive and purposeful woman.
6) He is not sexually passive, but often has a high drive himself, although a submissive drive, and craves female domination and initiation.
7) He often experiences a degree of relief when her needs are satisfied by a bull, and his own sexuality emerges as he is free from the need to perform, and.
8) He is often bisexual, even if on an unconscious and unacknowledged level, and is highly excited as his love in mounted by a bull.
9) He is often very oral by nature, and easily included in threesomes with a bull, and disappointed if he is not.
10) He will usually do the housework and over chores as he is in a perpetual state of courtship during which he does not take his cougar for granted.
11) He is generally easily placed in panties, and then the Pandora's Box is opened.
12) He is generally of average to small stature and appendage.
13) He absolutely adores his woman.[i]

 The question also arises then, what makes a Cucktress, and better still what makes a Bull. It takes a minimum of three to tango in this fetish. Though a hot wife can and often participates in group sex with several men. What makes a woman desire to humiliate and degrade a man that she cares for enough to wed? What makes a man accept that the woman he is having sex with has a husband that is often present during the act? There are a few cuckold couples who participate in what is known as breeding, where The Bull is encouraged to impregnate the hot wife by the Cuck. There are perfectly happy cuckold situations where the wife, husband, and her lover all coexist in the same home. It is interesting to me that this lifestyle remains on the fringes of excepted fetishes. It is often frowned upon even in normally open minded fetish circles.  Is it because we have been conditioned to find certain wrongness in infidelity even if it is accepted by all parties involved, or is it the humiliation aspect of cucking? We as a society are taught that marriage vows are something sacred to be held with regard over one's own personal gratification. This way of thinking has led to many bad marriages and broken homes. Not to mention the generations that has been psychologically scarred by unhappy parents. With the swing lifestyle being more and more accepted by mainstream society (mainly due to their increased numbers), and the growing scandals involving unfaithful politicians, it is no wonder that the amount of Cuck porn is exploding across the internet. I have found it difficult however to find solid information on the psychology behind the phenomenon. There is no shortage of videos, and fantasy tales, blogs and forums where Cucks, Bulls, and Hot Wives and meet to arrange situations. There seems to be little in the way of examination on the fetish. I will continue my research into the lifestyle.

[i] The Natural born cuck

posted on Cuckold Connection Tribe.net