Mood:  a-ok

For the Love of Porn pt.1

With the ubiquitous nature of porn nowadays it's a wonder it's not a more widely talked about institution. It still in some circles holds the stigma of being degrading or exploitive of women. I mean yes gagging films, or those fake Russian rape tapes are bad, and pretty much everything out of Japan and Germany is scary, but not every prono-flick has a girl on a leash eating dog food out of a man's ass. I mean I wouldn't stop watching if it did, but porn is a many splendid things. Porn is a varied and far retching into the depths of human depravity as anything can be. Even when the limits of the human body are exhausted porn simply animates itself either in actual drawings and cell animation or pixilated 3D CGI orgies of the damned, where women can bend any way you want them to and insert things that don't actually exist into their bodies. Pornography is after all merely an extension of human fantasies and the endless myriad of sexual debasements can only factor into it. I for one love porn I have loved porn since I was eight and discovered my uncles stash underneath his bed. It was like discovering the Holy Grail, even before I knew what to do with it. I poured over it every time I was left home alone. He had a small collection of Privates and British mags I suppose from his time in Germany serving in the Air Force. They were the most exotic insane magazines to a child who hadn't even been outside the confines of Western Carolina. The European women were light years ahead of their paltry American counterparts, taking double and triple penetrations decades before those fine actresses in Porn Valley. They also possessed wild, bushy vaginas, and thus began my love affair with them. In 1986 my grandmother got a satellite, one of those obnoxiously big yard dishes. We were too far out in the sticks to receive cable at the time and my Uncles seemed to want it real bad for some reason. Of course I found out that the reason was the some hundred odd channels of porn that came from around the world. This was my obsession as well, fighting them for the house to myself so I could beat off on my grandmother's couch. Sick I know, but I was like ten or eleven. In 1989 a tornado whipped through our area for the first time in 100 years and the satellite service was never the same.

The magazines were still there and by this point my Uncle had started collecting Penthouse Forums, which were cool he would occasionally get more raunchier bootleg knock off versions that I liked a lot better. By the time I reached High School, I would start getting my own porn, in the form Adam and Eve catalogues. Little 6" by 9" booklets advertising the latest Jenna Jameson movie and blow-up dolls. I didn't need much by then because I had started interacting with real women. Which at first didn't go all that well since the majority of my knowledge of the opposite sex had come from years of pornography, though with the help of romantic comedies from the eighties I stumbled my way into some panties and for a while there I was able to live a porn free life? Until I got my own apartment and quickly realized that adulthood was not a non-stop orgy or a round-robin of women each night. I bought a few magazines and kept them in-between my mattress for a while until I realized adult life could be a non-stop orgy and round-robin of women every night if I sold drugs, worked two jobs and made tons of money.  I vowed to plan for rainy days though and got my first subscription to Cheri magazine. I held that subscription for two years not really even using the magazines that much but stacking them away for the day when the women and booze ran out. Little did I know that in that time I would acquire a computer and a little thing called the internet would come along and change my life and the world forever!  

The internet was like the VCR before it a monster that consumed all who viewed it. Paper porn became obsolete. I had a friend who worked at the local porn shack in my area. A kindly old tranny, who would let me hang out and talk shit to customers for hours. I even got to go behind the counter and watch the register when he/she went on break. I was in porn heaven and living the dream all at the same time. But all good things must come to an end when something better rolls around. And the random crazy sex I was having and my love of dirty magazines hit the skids when I found I could summon the bowels of hell and the largest human/animal orgy at the click of a mouse. I still continued to bed every young girl who would let me no matter what for some time after that, but I would make them watch some of the shit I found on the World Wide Web, before and after coitus. My fascination with digging up the sickest things I could find did not end well I crashed my computer with viruses from International porn to  illegal and illicit to mention-an no you it's not what you think (no matter what you think, if you can guess it wouldn't have been so evil). I digress, after my machine gave up on me, I found myself in a monogamous relationship with a full time live in lover and no time or privacy for porn. That lasted a few months before I found myself in prison. And who should come to my rescue? Why porn of course! In the pen I real jerk rags were hard to come by, instead I had to deal with a lot of crappy seventies mags like the ones I first stole from my uncle. The kind where they put Vaseline around the lens and try to make the nudes pose as artful as some coke headed perv in 1973 could imagine. These over-thought-out former kings of smut only made me miss the internet all that much more. But it would be some time before I saw her again. Not because of my unfortunate incarceration, which itself was very brief, but because upon my release I retreated to New York City where my older cousin lied. He took me in and fed me and when he went to work I raided his closet and found some of this new porn on DVD where you could jump from scene to scene without all that stupid, and tedious fast forwarding and rewinding. Which we all knew would get you caught one day when dad walks in home early from work and you and all your little teenage buddies are sitting around having a circle jerk...Uh anyway it was my first taste of DVD porn and I loved it! It took me a couple of years to acquire my own along with my own DVD player, but eventually I began to pick up compilation flicks that would last four to six hours and were filled with old porn from the eighties and early nineties that people had already started. Although I was living with a woman and had no shortage of outside activities I still made time for porn, but no internet still. It would be four years before I was returned to the world wide porn web, and into a world that had changed so much I barely recognized it. But knew the back bone of any great technology is driven by mans desire to beat off.